The 45 minute Nap intruder

AH so this week has been hard really hard! Especially the last few days. Lindsay has not been taking great naps at all...for a few days she did great then she's started back. I have been putting her down consistently around 11 every day. This is after her 2nd feeding. I have given up trying to coordinate it with Colby's naptime. I just pray that atleast 30 min overlaps and I'm able to catch my breath! I've even had my parents pick Colby up from school so that I can consistently keep her on a schedule. I felt like the days we picked him up always messed her up but so far even being on a schedule isn't helping. The last couple of days she wakes up after 45 minutes. Finally yesterday I just fed her again and finally put her down around 1 and she slept until about 3:45. So I thought maybe it was hunger so today I fed her more at her first feeding. She went down fine only cried for a minute or 2 and then boom at 45 minutes she wakes again! I go in there and shush her and get her back to sleep so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will stick. Yesterday it did not. Its making it really hard with Colby too b/c my goal is to get her down before he gets home from school or before his lunch that way I can spend about an hour with him and where he is my focus. But the last 2 days she has not let me do that. I know its hard on him b/c I am constantly running back and forth to keep her from crying. I have tried "crying it out" but she only gets herself so worked up that she won't go to sleep. So I go stand over her crib I don't pick her up but she seems to settle down when I stand there but that becomes very tiring when you are doing it 2 hours every day!
I am also having an emotional 2 days b/c my mom has gotton onto me twice about how I disciplined Colby. It hurts my feelings that she is making me doubt the way I parent. I understand she loves Colby and doesn't want to see him hurt but I am his mom and if I don't agree with something he's doing I have to discipline him and its not like I am beating or yelling at him I'm just putting him in timeout. I feel like I have been very patient lately and I try my best to devote time to both of them. This is the reason why I take Colby to soccer and have my parents come keep Colby. I want to have outtings with him so I can focus on him...I want him to have special things. I also try to enjoy alone time with Lindsay. My parents keep Colby once a week so I get a day with just her. I will always try and do this I think its good. So I feel like I am trying my best and it just hurt that she fussed at me the way she did. They have never really gotton "invovled" in how we raise our kids before I have always wanted to keep from having that fight...they usually help us out but let us do the raising. I feel like they have spent more time with Colby since Lindsay was born and therfore he is looking to them for more guidance then he has before. I am not sure what to do...I don't want to stop him from seeing them and I need the help its just I don't want to get in fights every day with them about how I choose to discipline my children! Ah just venting...I hear Lindsay crying again so looks like its gonna be another hard day! If you are reading this which I don't publish it anymore so I'm not sure who reads it just pray for me b/c I am really emotionally stretched and very tired and discouraged right now!