On My Heart

This summer I have been attending a Bible Study on Nehemiah. It has been a wonderful study. It has opened my eyes and convicted me so much to have a heart for people. I feel like sometimes I get so caught up in my needs I don't take time to think about the needs of others. My dady is so busy but its consumed with taking care of myself and my children. And not that that is not important its just not all there is in life. All summer I have been searching and thinking of ways I can practice missions in my every day life. Right now I don't feel God calling me to Africa...although one day when our children are teenagers or college age I would love to take a family mission trip, but right now I feel like God has called me to be a stay at home mom of my children. I know there are so many ways though I can minister right here in my city, in my neighborhood, etc. I also have the burden of wanting to teach my children these things. Especially Colby though as he is now 4 and starting to understand more. I want him to see how blessed he is but I also want to teach him to have a heart of compassion and to give to people when he sees they have a need. I have thought all summer of ways we can do that. I am still processing thoughts and ideas. I want to take him somewhere to give toys to children. Not sure where yet...I want him to physically see the children who will recieve them. Anyway the more I think about it the more confused I get. So I have decided to pray each day and let God show me ways in our day to day life how we can do this.
So far today God has pointed me to 2 people. One is a girl who I went to college with. I found out this morning via facebook that she lost her house in a fire. I can't even imagine. I know she has atleast 3 young children. Not sure of their ages but I can't imagine Colby going through that. He is old enough that I think it would be very painful for him. I am hoping to soon find out a way we can give her toys or clothes. I think this will be a "real" visual way I can help teach Colby.
The other thing today: Well at Bible Study this morning it was brought up how we as Christians should respond to the homeless and hungry who stand on the streets with signs. This is something I have always wondered about...I hate not doing anything at all but I also don't want to give them money b/c you don't know how they will use it. I have always heard about giving them food...I just haven't ever had the opportunity to have food with me to give them. Well today after leaving my parents I just happened to have a homemade cookie with me that Colby wanted me to take home that my mom made. I pulled up at the intersection and I felt God tugging at my heart...I thought for a moment and remembered I had that cookie. So I rolled the window down and politely said: Sir I don't have any money but I have this homemade cookie. His face said it all...he looked so thrilled. His words also were " I know you must have Christ in your heart" WOW what a statement. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. Its amazing what impact a small thing can have on a person...but I also drove away feeling "guilty" in my 2012 Honda Van, nice clean clothes, my child sitting in a brand new Graco carseat wearing Gymboree clothes...not to say that God doesn't want us to have nice things. But this Bible study has really made me think of those in need around me. Anyway it was a really cool moment. I wish I had had time to talk to the man or give him something from our church to direct him to a place to go. I almost hope he's at that same intersection tomorrow. I think I may bring a Bible and another snack I dunno...but I now feel like I should always be prepared. I think I will stock up on "snack" items to keep with me when I am out driving. It also though was a total God moment that I even had that one single cookie with me to give him. I am still in awe. I also feel guilty b/c I know I lose my patience with my children and today was one of those days where I was trying so hard to get everyone out the door that I spoke out of anger and frustration to my kids. Anyway just a reflection of the day!